RISKbitz: Monte Carlo jamboree to be slashed

RISKbitz: Monte Carlo jamboree to be slashed

The large first-half losses announced by reinsurers, driven by a series of losses including the Japanese earthquake, the New Zealand earthquake, extreme weather in the US and a somewhat disappointing summer in the UK and the resultant cancellation of scores of barbeques and village green parties, is set to radically alter this year’s Monte Carlo Rendez-Vous.

Some of the biggest changes include:

- Debaucher Re to scale down its party from 1,400 invitees to 1,350.

- User Re to send out new party invites, amending “invitee plus two” to “invitee plus one”.

- Penu Re’s party is to finish 30 minutes earlier.

- Adulta Re is reducing the number of hookers with red wrist bands to 27.

- Mocha Re’s chief golf officer (CGO) and chairman, Sir Norbert “Nobby” Johnson, is taking his Bentley rather than the Roller

- Gollum Re’s chief executive, Burl Juggernaut III, is to share his company jet with Gollum Re’s chairman, Henry Trouser-Press VIII, for the trip over from Dallas, rather than bringing both company jets.

- Sir Dudley “Dumbo” Duddleston, Chief Executive of Hoggwartz Global Insurance, is not bringing Lady Duddleston (not to save costs, but because his PA Marjorie Twinset will be in attendance).

- Sir Cuthbert “Cutty” Sark, chairman and CEO of Hapless Insurance, will no longer be cutting short his extended holiday in the Seychelles to attend the Rendezvous, in a cost-cutting exercise.

- Derisor Re is replacing the free biros it distributes at its party with pencils (which also double as a 200GB USB stick)

- Pedant Re will be serving peanuts in place of cashew nuts at its party

- Dysent Re has placed a $300,000 limit on its executive’s gold cards.

- Reinsurance brokers are, of course, bucking the trend and ordering in even more Krug and Krystal.

- Steve Grabber, broker, is taking slightly fewer business cards as normal

- Over 14,000 journalists are expected to hit Monte Carlo, under strict instructions not to pay for anything and to blag as much as possible.

- A leading reinsurance CEO, who wished to remain anonymous for tax reasons, said he was giving up his suite at the Hermitage in favour of a “marvellous little villa just down the coast, very secluded, with its own chef. Lady Johnson absolutely loves it. We’re staying for a fortnight.”


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November 2018


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